A Friend Who Sticks Through Adversity
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” (Proverbs 17:17, AMP)
“This is My commandment, that you love and unselfishly seek the best for one another, just as I have loved you. No one has greater love [nor stronger commitment] than to lay down his own life for his friends. You are my friends if you keep on doing what I command you. I do not call you servants any longer, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you [My] friends, because I have revealed to you everything that I have heard from My Father.” (John 15:12-15, AMP)
When Sam, my now husband, and I started dating, everything was new and exciting. We were fun and playful; we were tender and excited to see if this was a forever kind of love. Already, I knew he treated me the way I wanted to be treated, but still everything was fresh. Nothing had been tested by adversity or arguments or inconvenience.
But within the first few weeks of dating, someone close to us tried to quite literally destroy my character in public and in ministry. Over the next few weeks and months, many questioned both him and me, and some even urged Sam to end the relationship. In a lot of ways, that season felt a lot like a Job moment; maybe not to the degree in which Job suffered since I still had my health, my home, and my family, but it was the kind of thing that felt like it hung over my head and caused grief that had to be dealt and re-dealt with. I lost friends from that moment in time, and a few trust issues developed.
In moments like that, there are two kinds of friends. The first is what is commonly known as a “fairweather friend,” which means exactly what it sounds like: someone who is only your friend when skies are clear, all is well, and there is no adversity to deal with. But when things get hard and difficult things happen, they’re nowhere to be found.
The second friend is a forever friend, like what Proverbs 17:17 talks about. This friend loves unconditionally, sticks by you when the hardships come, and don’t balk at your dark and twisty moments. They sit with you in your heartaches and provide precious comforts when you need them the most.
To this day, I look back on those days and stand by the fact that although he’s my love, Sam is one of my closest friends. And I knew that because he sat with me, loved me, and stuck by me through one of the most difficult times in my life– especially when our relationship was so new– that he would love and stand by me in all things.
And truly, a friend like this is so rare and so precious when you find them. They are the brightest spots in the darkest times, and they’re a gift from God. We should strive to be friends like this to those people that God has given us to be companions to– building each other up, cheering each other on, and loving each other unconditionally.
Like Jesus.
Because indeed, there is someone who sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24). In fact, Jesus is a friend that laid down His life for us. There is no stronger commitment than that. God put it all on the line by sending His Son to pay the price for our sin. For anyone else, that payment is final and still falls short. But to Jesus, who defeated the grave and gave us grace, laying down His life was the greatest act of love.
Jesus loves at all times, like the absolute best of friends. Jesus is near to us in our heartbreak and adversity, just like the most loyal of companions. He is the personification of Proverbs 17:17, because He donned the flesh of humanity to come be with us– to sit among us and teach us the deep truths of His Father. He is our Emmanuel. He has drawn closer to us than any false god or forgotten deity. He left His throne in Heaven to heal the chronically sick, raise the dead, and save the lost.
And not only that, but He was met with His own adversities in coming to save us. Even from the beginning of His life, when Mary and Joseph had to flee to Egypt in order to avoid the mass murder of infant boys decreed by King Herod; bent on killing this newborn Messiah before He could pose a threat as a man. He was hated by the Pharisees, betrayed by one of His best friends, and humiliated before being put to death. He chose to face all that, to deal with it and put up with it, because He found us to be worth it. He found redeeming us by His blood to be far more rewarding.
But don’t stop there. When all was said and done; when the cross, the empty tomb, and the veil torn in two were finally in the rearview mirror and it was time to return back to the right-hand of the Father, He still didn’t leave us without His Spirit. He sent the Holy Spirit. He sent another part of Himself for us to have as a help, as a comfort, and as a friend. He didn’t send us a sign, a love letter, or an IOU. He sent us another piece of Himself.
That’s a friend that loves at all times. That’s a friend that unselfishly seeks the best for us. Instead of giving us what we deserve, which is the fruits of our sin and to die for our rebellion against God, He chose to sit beside us and pull us out of our despair. He chose to lead us out of our slavery to sin and to give us His grace. He confronts our shortcomings and sanctifies us so we can be righteous before His Father. He reveals to us what the Father’s plans are and teaches us those mysteries so we can have more insight and wisdom through the Bible.
And sure, Solomon wouldn’t have known or referenced Jesus generations before He even came to save us. Solomon probably didn’t know God’s greater plan for redemption, but God did, who ultimately inspired each and every author in the Bible to pen what He willed to be there for us. Solomon didn’t know he was talking about Jesus, but as a type and a shadow of what was to come, he was.
So knowing what we know, from the point in time that we’re in, let’s strive to be a friend like Jesus. We know that we will fall short, but the point isn’t to get the premise 100% right. It’s to be more and more like Christ all the time– in our path of righteousness, in fighting our sin, and in being the type of friend Jesus is to us.
