Hey Pops, I want to be more constantly aware of you. For too long, I’ve let personal drama get in the way of consistently pursuing you. I’ve let people and situations distract me from what really matters: sitting at your feet and putting my mind on you. Forgive my short-sightedness. Forgive my selfish heart. Forgive my scattered focus and for allowing my attention to be stolen so easily.

When we enter into a relationship with God, we truly learn about ourselves. Being in union with our creator forces us to be self-aware and allows us to evolve into our true identity each and every day. In this process, we sometimes face a lot of hard truths about who we are and how we can act. We see the ugly that lies within us.

Dear Lord, I thank you for who you are each and every second, minute, and day that you continue to prove yourself through. You are an unchanging God who loves me in every heart-condition and I am unbelievably blessed. You fight for me when I cannot bear to face things myself and you come to my defense when I cannot even bring myself to stand. You are always at my right hand ready to teach me, love me, and show me how to persevere.

How often do we limit our capacity to worship Jesus? Let me be more specific: how often do we categorize worship neatly into a box for Sunday morning church service or a special playlist on our phones? In all reality, worship goes much farther than ambient music or beautiful lyrics. Worship is a lifestyle. It is something that should be fully integrated into Christian life.

When I was a little girl, my grandma had this bookshelf with a series of short story books on it. I remember I loved to look at them, the spines straight like soldiers in a row, all the same color, all the same size, and lined from one end of the shelf to the other, yet all incredibly different on the inside.

“It’s not a holiday. It’s a day of chocolate bunnies and eggs.” Those were the real-life words that came out of a coworkers mouth in my office this week. It was one of those things that pulled my mind straight out of what it was doing and into the world happening around me.

There’s a lot of things we all crave to be in this life. We all want to be successful and feel accomplished. Maybe we even have a small timeline in your heads of where we want to be and when. Even though we do our best to trust in Jesus and in his plan, we also have little hopes and dreams within our minds and hearts. We almost all want to achieve perfection in all these areas of our lives. But there is one thing I never want to be, and that is the “Perfect Christian”.

No matter how long you’ve been a Christian– whether you’re on day one or decades from the starting line– everyone that has ever followed Jesus is unified by at least this fact: none of us have ever graduated from the point of salvation. Because no matter how long your spiritual resume is, it is unavoidable that you will struggle with your own tendency towards sin until the day you die. Maybe that’s blunt or depressing, but it’s true. There will never be a point in this life where you will be able to think, “Well, that’s it. I’ve done it. I’ve obtained a wholly righteous and upright lifestyle. I will no longer struggle with sin.”

Jesus, I pray that you would give me a heart like this. A heart that is in awe of you at all times, that tells everyone of your love and mercy, and that is continually trusting in you. God, you are magnificent, but I am so broken. I am scared and I feel helpless. I cannot bring myself to this place of wanting to trust you anymore. Wherever I look, everything around me feels like it’s falling apart. God, I know you have a purpose in everything you do, but can I tell you how frustrated and helpless I feel right now?

All over the Bible, there are stories of all kinds of different people who loved God and served Him. People like Paul, who was a murderer-turned-evangelist that suffered and endured remarkable trials in the name of Christ. People like Ruth, who was fiercely loyal to family and was blessed for her faithfulness. People like Jonah, who ran from God’s call on his life and had to be transported to his destiny via the belly of a whale.

Last week, I went to speak at the local university where I live. In the weeks leading up to that night, I was praying over what the Lord wanted me to say. These people attend a college chock-full of calculating minds and scientific brains, all ready to disprove God, faith, and the Bible. Some of them are exchange students, young adults that left their countries to experience America and are testing Christianity after childhoods spent in different religions. Some grew up across America, church kids through-and-through. They grew up in Sunday school and knew the Bible. Some were most likely skeptical and questioning. Even more were probably just going through the motions and trying to check a “God-box” to satisfy some idea of an obligation.

A desire is a strong feeling of wanting or wishing to have something or to see something occur. A desire can be a strong feeling that controls your emotions, your actions, and your thoughts. What are your desires today? What are the things pulling on your heart strings pleading for attention? Is it a desire for love, validation, happiness, or material things? What if I told you all those desires, all of those things that you long for are just masking the only desire that will satisfy your soul?

You can be honest: Did you actually read today’s key verse, or did your eyes glaze over once you realized it was familiar? I know I do it. If I have a verse memorized, I don’t tend to read it when I recognize it. My mind automatically goes on airplane mode, thinking, “Oh, I know that. Let’s skip past this part.” Because my time is so valuable, I can’t even read a verse that I’ve become so obviously numb to, right? Because I’m so busy, I can’t reconnect with a precious scripture that is something I desperately need to hear, right?

Just think of all the names that Jesus has. They’re sprinkled all over the Bible: Emmanuel, Light of the World, Messiah, Lamb of God, Bread of Life– Jesus’ names and titles can go on and on. Now just think: He is completely worthy of every single name.

Hey Pops, I find myself longing for you more and more these days. I know what it feels like to be so close to your side, and I miss that. Like Mary, I’ve sat at your feet and listened carefully and hungrily to your every word. I know what it’s like to live so intimately with you, so when I start to run dry, I feel it harshly.

Do you ever find yourself feeling like you are surrounded; like you feel like you need to be scared of everything? Life can be so overwhelming at times, it feels like it completely encompasses you day by day. We have all been there, and when you are feeling that way– when you are letting the world invade your thoughts and emotions– you are forgetting the who God made you. You are forgetting the platform that you stand on each day and how the Lord arms us with his love and strength.