I think it's safe to say through observation and conversation, that due to the coronavirus and quarantines, there has been a huge spike in feelings of depression, loneliness, and directionlessness more than ever for many people. A lot of us may be without jobs, without income, and without a plan. So many people left without an idea of what they're going to do.

Well, friends, we’ve been in this place for five weeks now, and I think I’ve just about covered all the amazing little reminders this funny passage of scripture has revealed to me as of late. But I don’t think I could move on and call this series closed without covering the last two verses in this section of Mark 11,which is one last little point Jesus teaches us about prayer.

So now that we’ve seen how Jesus’ Kingdom-minded reaction with the fig tree was illustrated in the real-life cleansing of the Temple, let’s return back to the fig tree. In fact, scripture takes this same journey; it doesn’t leave any loose end open. After Jesus travelled to the temple and called out the manipulation that was allowed to take root in His Father’s house, they went back out of the city to where they were staying. The next morning, Jesus and His disciples travelled back to Jerusalem. Along the way, Peter and the disciples saw the same fig tree that enraged Jesus the day before. Except today, this tree no longer gave the appearance of a healthy plant. A mere 24 hours later, this same tree was not just leaf-less or fruit-less– the Bible says it was completely withered– it was dry, shriveled, and completely devoid of life.

So this whole time, we’ve been talking about the fig tree, and how the Lord never puts anything to waste in the scriptures. Everything thas a Kingdom-minded meaning. What might seem random to us, upon pressing deeper, turns out to have a much deeper meaning. What I think is so unique in Mark 11, is that we get to see one of those random, unassuming parts of scripture become the practical application in just a few short verses.

I hope the theme of last week’s devotion is still ringing in your mind. It sure is in mine, and it’s the lens I’m beginning to read and see everything through: God is so intentional. He wastes nothing. Everything has an eternal, Kingdom-situated meaning. So let’s revisit the fig tree and dig deeper. Jesus was hungry after spending the night in Bethany, and saw a fig tree in leaf. He gets to the tree, sees no fruit, and curses the tree to never bear fruit again. Maybe, to you, it seems irrational. “Wow, Jesus, I get that you were hungry, but did you have to curse the whole tree just because it didn’t have a snack?” Or maybe you’re thinking, “If it wasn’t the season for figs, then why didn’t He curb His enthusiasm? After all, if He knew figs weren’t in season– being God and all– then why didn’t He keep his expectations low?”

So let me give you the short version of what my life has been for the past 7 months: I’ve planned two weddings, and I still need to plan one more. The first wedding was the one that never happened; at a catering hall that essentially took our money and never provided a wedding due to COVID-19. Then there’s the wedding that did take place: a beautiful and intimate ceremony under a tree at the top of a hill that felt like another planet altogether, surrounded by family– followed by an awesome backyard reception that was more perfect than any catering hall could have attempted to create.

It can be so difficult sometimes to trust in the Lord. In fact, it can be near impossible at times. Whether it be because you have no idea what He’s planning, or because everything around you seems to be going crazy. Whatever it is, we all have a moment where we are frustrated and doubtful. In fact, those moments seem to be quite frequent for me.

Truth time: Recently, I realized how numb I can become to the goodness of God. It was the week of Good Friday. My family and I watched “The Passion of the Christ.” Funny, how a confrontation with the cross can realign us and set us straight. As much as I hate to say this, as I became a teenager, I forgot the importance of that sacrifice. I felt as if it was just another story in a book. I never really thought about the whole meaning behind it or realized that if it weren’t for God’s sacrifice, I wouldn't have eternal life. I wouldn't be able to say that I don't have to punish myself because I’ve sinned over and over again.

I wrote those words in the middle of winter, while sitting at my desk in small-town Potsdam, New York. Three months later, as I re-read my old, unedited words, I sat back and thought about how much my life had been flipped upside down. Later that night, I had received an email, saying that I would have three days to get rid of all of my belongings, and move out of my college dorm to live with my parents on Long Island again. I was crushed, especially after writing such strong, comforting words earlier that morning.

There is no fear in love. All of God’s promises to us are awesome, but there is something about this one that catches my heart. Anyone who knows me, knows that this is one of the verses I try to live by, and model my heart after. It’s a verse that has been a banner over my relationship and a mantra through some really hard decisions. There is no fear in love.

It’s in times like this that I wonder: How do people that don’t know who Jesus is get through this life? How do those who don’t know His love face the uncertainty of the day? How do those who don’t stand in His promises cope with their fear and deep sadness that is an inevitability to this life? Because I don’t think that I’d be able to function in this year alone if I didn’t have the steadfast faithfulness of God to lean into in days like these.

False teaching. False Gospel. Counterfeit Jesus. This week, I was reminded big time of just how much we need to be on guard against these things. I’m sure that by now, you’ve all seen the Plandemic video that’s gone viral. If you haven’t, it’s basically a documentary that’s been put out to spin a conspiracy that questions the government’s intentions behind the COVID-19. Whether or not the video is based in fact isn’t what I want to jump into today, but I will admit, the video caused me to anxiety spiral for a few hours.

So if you couldn’t tell by now, I’m using my quarantine time to read through the gospel of Mark, and I’m being really blessed by all these stories that I thought I knew like the back of my hand. I love it when I read through a story and find something I never saw before. I’m sure all my grew-up-in-Sunday-school friends know exactly what I’m talking about… having certain stories so drilled and told and retold that the meaning of the scripture becomes background noise.

This quarantine has added a lot more free time to most people’s daily life. Many have used it to start Tik-Tok accounts, start a new Netflix series, or maybe some have even learned how to cook. Whatever the case may be for you, you’ve probably added more ‘self-care’ into your routine. Whether it be taking luxurious baths, trying out new skincare products, or reading books that you’ve had on your shelf for months just waiting to be cracked open; you have probably been focusing on caring for yourself as much as possible during this uncertain time. While all of those things are great– and probably extremely necessary for your mental health right now– there’s one thing that I just want to encourage you guys in today: spiritual self-care.

Boy, is this coronavirus teaching me a thing or two about my control issues. For those who don’t know, I’m supposed to get married in June. And by that, I mean, it’s still happening, but we’re getting to the point where some difficult decisions have to be made. Me, I was always the girl who dreamed about her wedding: the fairytale day that’s all about me and the love of my life taking the biggest step together. I grew up dreaming about every aspect of the day from the food and flowers to the music and the dress.

I think my favorite part about Jesus is that He does very intentional things in a roundabout way. The course of action He takes is almost never the one we would, but it always seems to work out better than what we could have ever forced together in our own strength. It’s because He sees the whole picture. We see dust, He sees an opportunity for life. We see a storm, He sees an opportunity to teach. We see a cross and a tomb, He sees grace and eternal life. So when the paralytic man in Mark 2 is lowered through the roof to sit right in front of Jesus, everyone expects Jesus to heal this man’s broken body. Instead, Jesus throws us a curveball.