Forever Identified by His Worthiness
‘“Lord, help!” they cried in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He led them from the darkness and deepest gloom; he snapped their chains. Let them praise the Lord for his great love and for the wonderful things he has done for them. For he broke down their prison gates of bronze; he cut apart their bars of iron.’ (Psalm 107:13-16, NLT)
Growing up, I know I truly found myself in Christ, but I could never get away from feeling extremely unworthy. This has been my struggle my whole life. Though my relationship with God has been strong, there are so many times I have found myself trying to find my worth in something other than my Savior.
Just like anyone else, I was always quick to compare myself to others; it was never just a quick comparison. I would always look right at what someone had and what I didn't, and then I would dwell on it. I was my own personal bully. I felt like I wasn’t worthy in any aspect of my life. (I know this all sounds very depressing but I promise the good part is coming).
The one thing that always stood out to me was that I felt like everyone else around me had their “thing,” but I didn’t. We all know that one person who is amazing at everything that they do, or someone who is so talented at one thing that it becomes their identifier. I always longed so deeply to have that. Growing up, I felt ordinary and plain and I longed to be extraordinary– to feel seen. No matter how many compliments I may have received or what my parents said, I still always felt like nothing special... like I needed to be better.
After years of battling with this constant struggle, I realized something: If I never felt unworthy or unqualified, I wouldn’t need God to remind me who I am to Him. If life was perfect and I was issue-less, Jesus wouldn't have had to get up on a cross for my shortcomings. And if I didn’t have Him, I wouldn’t be able to live out the identity He crafted for me.
For a long time, I was missing the whole point. Having a relationship with God doesn't mean I am going to become this extraordinary person, it means I can grow and love and thrive and open up in ways I never had before. It means learning more about my Savior's heart day by day, and becoming a better version of myself, actions aside.
I serve, worship, and do life all for an audience of One. God has shown me that ultimately my life isn’t a display for others, not even myself, each thing I do and think is all His. All my life, I have lived under this huge weight of pressure, wondering why I would make things so hard for myself, and then I realized the pressure I put on myself was only holding me back from all that God had for me.
The truth is, I am not worthy of this world because I am just not meant for it. I am purposed for an eternity in heaven with my Maker and to bring glory to His name as long as I'm here. He gave up His life to save me, and that’s something else I will never be worthy of, yet I was freely given. See, that's the type of unworthiness you and I should be experiencing because that’s where our desire for God sprouts from and our awe of His eternity lives.
Romans 12:2 says “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (NIV)
Once we stop conforming to the world and its lies, we will see our unworthiness in its true light. That place of unworthiness is where we really find our completion in God so that he can begin the process of breaking your habits of comparison and releasing you from the pain it has caused. This moment will shine a light on what makes you who you are, no meaningless pressure, and no worldly stress. This is where you find out how God identifies us and how he wants to use us.
The breaking of my belief that I was unworthy marked the beginning of my story. When you define your life by the fact that God has broken your chains and you dive into His presence daily through worship, reading, and prayer, He will slowly reveal to you your extraordinary identity in Him. Each day will be a beautiful process of growing into who God has purposed you to be and embracing the things that make you who you were created to be.
If I look to please myself I will only find disappointment, but if I live solely to please Him, I will find true peace and purpose: a purpose that doesn’t seek praise or to entertain comparison. A purpose that is content and thriving in the truth of God’s word. To maintain this gift, you need to pour all you have into God. Maybe just start by changing what you listen to in the car, and take that time to worship and reflect on His goodness.
I don’t have to be the person I was before, but I do remember her. She helps me see how far God has brought me. Be encouraged and don’t let what you deal with hold you back from getting vulnerable with yourself and God. When you are, you’ll be able to start a whole new season of freedom.
Breakaway the remaining chains. Experience the fullness of your true identity in Him.
Guess what? You are unworthy and so am I, but no matter how pitiful you may feel, God loves you and he has an overwhelming excitement to show you your true identity in him. Don’t pass it up.
“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” (Matthew 6:33, NLT)
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