Jesus: The Name that Covers It All
As I sit in front of my window, watching the pine trees sway with the pouring rain outside, I think of the anxiety that has somehow escaped my mind for the past three weeks. With the spread of the new COVID-19 pandemic, most people are struggling to simply leave the house, or to stay afloat. As one who has always struggled with fear and anxiety, I wonder why this sudden terror has not reached me. This morning, God spoke to me, and told me to open my Bible to a random page. As cliché as that may sound, I obeyed, and opened to Acts 4. I instantly felt deep in my Spirit to read until I got a "timely Scripture verse." I found this at verse 12:
"There is no one else who has the power to save us, for there is only one name to whom God has given authority by which we must experience salvation: the name of Jesus." (Acts 4:12, TPT)
I wrote those words in the middle of winter, while sitting at my desk in small-town Potsdam, New York. Three months later, as I re-read my old, unedited words, I sat back and thought about how much my life had been flipped upside down.
Later that night, I had received an email, saying that I would have three days to get rid of all of my
belongings, and move out of my college dorm to live with my parents on Long Island again. I was crushed, especially after writing such strong, comforting words earlier that morning. During the three days I was given, running around like a madman, I had experienced both pain and despair like never before. My boyfriend, Luke, had decided to leave Potsdam as well– he had recently injured his hands and was unable to help much in his wrist braces. We struggled to move his things out of his apartment; it took four trips to bring everything there, and now we only had one to move everything out. We had even had to break apart a 50 year old dresser with a hammer.
As I drove back and forth to and from the dumpster down the street, I tried my best to figure out which of our things to take, and which to leave on the side of the road. Throwing out mattress toppers and snow shovels, along with furniture and instruments, was way too much for me.
Many, many times I broke down and began to cry out to God, wondering why I was crushed at this position, when just days ago I was living the dream: away at college, learning music, and living independently. I had spent the past week of spring break recording and composing music with my boyfriend, and now it seemed like all of those ideas had been thrown away, along with our possessions. "Why me God? Why me?" That was all I could begin to ask. And as my wallet began to empty and the car filled to over capacity, I sank further and further into a depression.
I drove down to Long Island with no money and the joy completely sucked out of me; I cry almost every night still. Luke had injured himself from the move, and I felt like the world was on my shoulders; everything was my fault. I was angry, hurt, and irritable - characteristics which are the complete opposite of my homeostasis. I still have no answers to my agony. I cannot explain why I went through what I did; to me, there seemed to be no reason.
In Job 36, when Job calls on his friends for advice, Elihu responds to his "Why me?" by saying,
"Look, God is all powerful. Who is a teacher like him? No one can tell him what to do, or say to him, 'You have done wrong'. Instead, glorify his mighty works, singing songs of praise. Everyone has seen these things, though only from a distance. Look, God is greater than we can understand. His years cannot be counted." (Job 36:22-25, NLT)
After all that I had been through, most of it too hard to even write about, at times I began to feel like Job. I couldn't imagine the despair he must have felt. He went through years where he felt as I had. But God always has– and always will have– all things under control. He alone knows every up and down of my life. He sees every tear I shed, and He understands the reason behind every obstacle I may go through, no matter how difficult.
While going through dark times, He may seem to be far away, and sometimes the things He allows may be difficult to understand. We may never understand His reasoning, but God is greater than understanding. If there is something that is beyond your understanding, trust that God is in control. He knows your name, and He knows the exact number of hairs on your head. He alone is the bringer of everlasting peace.Sometimes, we go through "trials and tribulations," of which there are no answers for. Sometimes, fear grips our hearts and we feel the need to grasp for pieces of information, trying our best to answer our prayers on our own.
Friends, Jesus alone is the answer. There is no one else who has the power to save, to heal, to set free. He is holding the cosmos in their entirety within the palm of his hand; trust that He has the authority to handle your situation.
“This is why I tell you to never be worried about your life, for all that you need will be provided, such as food, water, clothing - everything your body needs. Isn’t there more to your life than a meal? Isn’t your body more than clothing? Look at the birds - do you think they worry about their existence? They don’t plant or reap or store up food, yet your heavenly Father provides them each with food. Aren’t you much more valuable to your Father than they? So, which one of you by worrying could add anything to your life? And why would you worry about your clothing? Look at all the beautiful flowers of the field. They don’t work or toil, and yet not even Solomon in all his splendor was robed in beauty more than one of these! So if God has clothed the meadow with hay, which is here for a short time and then dried up and burned, won’t he provide for you the clothes you need - even though you live with such little faith? So then, forsake your worries! Why would you say, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ For that is what the unbelievers chase after. Doesn’t your heavenly Father already know the things your bodies require?” (Matthew 6:25-32, TPT)