The Wings of Womanhood

“The wise woman builds her house [on a foundation of godly precepts, and her household thrives], but the foolish one [who lacks spiritual insight] tears it down with her own hands [by ignoring godly principles].” (Proverbs 14:1, AMP)

I wear very few items of jewelry on a daily basis. One piece that barely ever comes off is a small chain with a set of wings given to me by my sister. She gave it to me as we read Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot during her engagement. Chapter 8, “The Weight of Wings,” resonated with us both, even at our differing stages of womanhood and marriage. 

“Every creature of God is given something that could be called an inconvenience, I suppose, depending on one’s perspective. The elephant and the mouse might each complain about his size, the turtle about his shell, the bird about the weight of his wings… The special gift and ability of each creature defines its special limitations. And as the bird easily comes to terms with the necessity of bearing wings when it finds that it is, in fact, the wings that bear the bird– up, away from the world, into the sky, into freedom– so the woman that accepts the limitations of womanhood finds in those very limitations her gifts, her special calling– wings, in fact, which bear her up to perfect freedom, into the will of God.” (Elisabeth Elliot, Let me Be a Woman)

In 1976, Elisabeth wrote and compiled for her daughter a series of letters before her wedding, which later was published for the world to see. It was written at the height of the feminist movement, where many women were questioning the “traditional” roles of women. In leading her daughter to be a Godly wife, Elisabeth meets many of these progressive ideas of womanhood head-on.  

Being a woman is a very specific thing, and God created us to accomplish things set out only for women. There are the obvious roles: mother, wife, daughter. But there is so much nuance to those roles that God gives to us to fulfill. As a wife, I am called to respect and submit to the headship of my husband, as he submits to the headship of Christ. As a mother, I am called to raise my children in the way they should go. And then, of course, there are the things we’re called to do as simple Christians: to love and obey the Lord with everything we are and to love others as ourselves.

But the world, in true form, loves to confuse things that scripture makes very plain. The world distorts womanhood right down to blurring the lines of what a woman is. Through the perspective of the world, we are made to question: What is a woman? What is a mother? Am I any of these things? Should I be something else? And in all this questioning, there are still others that try to look down their nose at what is considered traditional for a woman. They try to make others see these uniquely feminine roles and experiences as limitations, just like a bird might find the weight of their wings limiting. 

Elisabeth’s point, however, is that where the world sees limitations, God sees specifically designed gifts. A bird’s wings may be weighty until she realizes that those wings are created to give flight to the creature. Suddenly, the weight is repurposed to a precious freedom. In the same way, a girl may feel the weight of being a woman and all the “limits” the world will make her feel is a ball and chain she needs to be liberated from.

In reality, being a woman– walking out our special calling as God-created females– is freedom itself; freedom from living in a lane we were never meant to occupy and to use that freedom to soar into the will of God over our lives. Hence, the wings on the necklace I never take off: a reminder that “wife,” “mommy,” and “woman,” are all blessings that God has given me to excel in, not balk at.

In Proverbs, Solomon gives us a little glimpse at the feathers in our wings– don’t worry, there’s plenty more to come as we bear down on Proverbs 31!

“The wisest of women builds her house…” (Proverbs 14:1a, ESV) The wisest, the most God-fearing, and the most liberated women on God’s green earth build their houses. No, I’m not talking about hardhats and hammers, but if I was, you know we’d look cute doing it. What I’m talking about is that wise women spiritually build up their homes. Their dwellings are founded on scripture. Their children are bathed in scripture and know Jesus. Their husbands are free to walk in the way that God has called men to live. Their friends come through the threshold and know that there’s more than a cup of coffee and good conversation waiting for them inside– there’s Jesus. 

And because Soloman uses the word “women,” and not “wives,” we know that this applies to anyone under the feminine umbrella. This is not just a calling for the girlies that are safely in covenant with their husband. This is not reserved for the mamas. It’s for all women. So, daughters, help to build that home; be a part of the family worship and do what you can to make the household thrive. Roommates, build. Single gals who are working and making their way in the world, build. 

“... but folly with her own hands, tears it down.” (Proverbs 14:1b, ESV) To ignore God’s word, to not apply it or confront our sin, is to tear down our homes board by board. To ignore the wings that God has given us and be content in lacking spiritual insight is to tear it all down. It affects those living under the same roof and neglects the gifts and callings God has specifically given to us as women.

And I’m not talking about homemaking. You don’t have to be Martha Stewart or Donna Reed. You don’t have to tell most women how to nest, beautify, or create a home. They love to do it and that is certainly a large part in why God has left the curation of a home to us, but while God has left it to the man to be the spiritual head of a home and marriage, it doesn’t absolve us from knowing God ourselves. 

Ladies, we need to be in the Bible. Daily. We need to be seeking God and allowing Him to encourage, convict, and lead us. We need to make sure we’re building something spiritual. Our kids, our spouses, our friends– they all have something to gain from it, but none more than us. Building ourselves is the spreading of our wings. The perspective– the limitation– we have as women is not an inconvenience, but a gift. 

So what are you doing that builds up your home? What are you doing to make sure those under your roof are abiding in the Lord? What are you doing that curates not only a safe haven for your family, but a spiritually solid and restful place for all who enter? We have a responsibility to build, ladies. To abstain is folly, which tears the whole thing down. But to embrace it and trust God’s will is to soar.