I was one of the first of my friends to get married. My marriage is still young– we celebrated six years this June– but I’ve stood as a bridesmaid several times over for my friends who have been married since. Anyone who has been through the wedding planning process can relate that the process is full of self-imposed stress. And that stress has a way of making you forget the stuff that really, really matters about a wedding.

I think for every friend I have ever been a bridesmaid for, there was a moment where the pressure was high and they asked for a reality check. My best advice was always this: The biggest part of the wedding planning is already done. God has provided the man, and praise Him! Because without that piece, the day isn’t happening. Absolutely everything else could fall apart– the dress, the flowers, the food, and the DJ– but if the one that your soul loves is still in, the most important part is covered.

I wear very few items of jewelry on a daily basis. One piece that barely ever comes off is a small chain with a set of wings given to me by my sister. She gave it to me as we read Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot during her engagement. Chapter 8, “The Weight of Wings,” resonated with us both, even at our differing stages of womanhood and marriage.

There are days, as a parent, that your kids will test you. They will fight each other like they’re trying to draw blood. They will disobey and defy you in ways that will knock you off your feet. And they’ll act out in ways that makes me think at least, “I was NEVER like this as a child.” 

And maybe I wasn’t, but I’m sure in other ways, I was. I can remember plenty of times I got in trouble for talking back, being mean to my brother, or being disrespectful. I can remember plenty of times that I slammed my door as a teen, thinking that would show my parents how angry I was. And I know that my parents still loved me through it, but now I know how they must have felt on the other side of that door.